After a story from Stasi about how God had romanced her, the chapter opens up discussing our desire as women to be romanced. I absolutely agree with their claim that women long to be romanced. I know it to be true of myself, and to be true of the women in my life. It's why chick flicks are so popular. They also say, "A woman becomes beautiful when she knows she's loved" (p112). I like that quote, and I like that idea. When a woman's desire for romance is being met, there is just something about her.
Then, the big statement: You don't have to be romanced by a man; you can, if you'll allow it, be romanced by God. They talk about God as your Lover, and reference a few verses to show you that it is biblical. They discuss the various ways in which God has been romancing you, including sunsets and beautiful night skies, and how God has been doing this for each of us since we were little. God has been loving us like a lover, and our job is to open our hearts to it and grow in intimacy with Him.
There is a message in this chapter that I can grab ahold of and really buy into, but there is also a lot in this chapter that I am just unsure of.
The first thing is, being in the culture I am in (modern America), my mind rebels against the idea of calling God my Lover. When I hear the word lover, I don't think of someone who loves (which, after all, is the literal meaning of the word). I think of a lover as someone you have sex with, someone you may or may not actually love. I think of someone who is committing adultery, someone who has "taken a lover." Even the dictionary defines lover as "a person having sexual or romantic relationship with someone, often outside of marriage." I believe that John and Stasi have a different intent for the word lover in this chapter, and when I change my definition of lover to "someone who loves," the chapter starts to make sense. However, I still don't find it appropriate.
I also didn't like the word romance. They call God's love for us a romance, but I'm not even sure of the authors' definition of romance. It seemed to me that at various points in the chapter, they equated romance with passion, with relational intimacy, with physical intimacy, with an expression of love, and with the act of wooing somebody. Just what exactly are they trying to say? They also made quite a statement by saying, "For the root of all holiness is Romance,"(p113) which I'm not sure I agree with anyway, but especially not if I don't know what romance actually is according to these people!
But, throughout the book they continued to refer to God as my Lover, and His love as a Romance, using the metaphor from the Bible as a basis. I understand that the Bible uses the relationship between a man and a woman as a metaphor for the relationship between God and us. As I am preparing for marriage, this is becoming even more real. Someone recently told me, "Marriage isn't about you and Mat, it's about God. It's about demonstrating the unconditional love God has for us." God loves us perfectly, the way that a husband is supposed to love his wife, and the way a wife is supposed to love her husband. And our relationship with God should be personal and invasive, like my relationship with my husband will be. Mat knows me well, and we share things that I don't share with anyone else. He invades my space and my mind, as he should, by being close to me and probing into my life and my thoughts. Our relationship is intimate, and growing in intimacy every day. My relationship with God should echo such intimacy. In fact, it should be even more intimate.
I think John and Stasi take the metaphor too far when they tell you to "put yourself in the scene [of a romantic movie] as the Beauty, and Jesus as the Lover" (p114). Jesus talks about Himself as being the Bridegroom; He doesn't talk about Himself loving us like Jack loves Rose in Titanic.
They reference three verses in particular, each from the Gospels, where Jesus calls Himself the Bridegroom (Matthew 9:15, Matthew 25:1-13, John 3:29). I looked up these verses, and in all three of them, Jesus is the Bridegroom in the wedding celebration, and the people He is talking to are guests at the feast. He's not talking about being our lover at all. He is talking about the celebration we will have when we join Him in heaven.
The rest of the chapter is sprinkled with verses from Song of Solomon and Hosea. Song of Solomon, in my opinion, is a celebration of a marriage relationship, and not a direct metaphor for the relationship between God and myself. As I recall, I am not the bride of Christ, the Church is the bride of Christ. In the book of Hosea, God tells a man to marry a prostitute, someone who would be unfaithful, as an example of God's relationship to Israel. Israel was being unfaithful by worshipping other gods. When he talks about "speaking tenderly to her," the 'her' he is referring to is Israel, His people. Neither of these books are intended to share God's love for me as an individual, but instead to demonstrate God's love and devotion for His Church, His people.
All of that aside, there was something about this chapter that stirred something in me. The following passages in particular:
Yes, we said earlier that the story of your life is the story of the long and sustained assault upon your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears you. But that is only part of the story. Every story has a villain. Every story also has a hero. The Great Love Story the Scriptures are telling us about also reveals a Lover who longs for you. The story of your life is also the story of the long and passionate pursuit of your heart by the One who knows you best and loves you most. (p115)
Faithful obedience to God is vital, but it is not all God draws us to. It is not sufficient for our healing, no more than doing the laundry is sufficient for a marriage. And it will not be enough in the long run to carry us through. The persecuted Church is vast today. More Christians are being martyred in our lifetime than in any other time in church history. It is not obedience that is carrying our brothers and sisters - unwavering, steadfast, eyes ablaze - to their deaths. It is holy, fierce passion. Hearts afire. (p113)These passages awaken in me the idea of something more. I come alive when I think about the idea of a Great Love Story, and about God being my hero, who rescues me from the depths because of His intense love for me. I yearn for that passion in response. I dream of being able to submit my entire life to God, to live for Him alone, and to be unwavering in my commitment, because I believe in God's power and love.
This is what I believe to be the heart of their message: God desperately loves us and wants to reveal that love to us. He wants us to know His heart. They state it so well: "What would it be like to experience for yourself that the truest thing about his heart toward yours is not disappointment or disapproval, but deep, fiery, passionate love?" (p113)
I absolutely believe that God pursues me with His love, that He truly loves me more than I can even imagine, and that the Bible is a Great Love Story. I am looking forward to the wedding feast in heaven, when Jesus will be reunited with His church, and we will celebrate indeed. I want to develop intimacy with my God and my King, intimacy that changes me. That is a message that I can hold on to.
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