No Fear!

Something rather encouraging happened to me today.  Mat and I had conflict.

Mat and I had conflict, and I didn't fear.

We were working on something this morning, and it was not going well.  He was frustrated, I was upset.  There are a lot of things I could say here about what happened, but my point isn't the conflict.  My point is that I didn't let myself be afraid.

Even when Mat was frustrated, and it was my fault.  Even when I couldn't figure out the root of the problem.  Even when I left his house and couldn't even make it to my car before the tears started.  Not once did I fear for our relationship, or wonder if he still loved me.

And later, after I had processed a little bit, I made myself text him and ask him to talk.  Normally, I would have balked at such a seemingly simple task, but I didn't let myself be afraid today.

And then, while we were talking, I didn't let myself shy away from sharing my feelings.  I felt confident that I could tell Mat honestly what I was thinking, without having him judge me, or hate me, or think I'm crazy.

I like the way our relationship is growing, and the trust I am gaining in him.  I like the way that I let go of my fear, and even more so like that I recognized it.  I like being fearless.